phyrephoenix

To celebrate my 5,000th view the lucky lucky person to get and screencap it gets a custom pic by me.

Call me disturbed...messed in the head but I LOVE Agents Sands! There is something way too sexy about a guy with two gaping holes in his head where eyes use to be! I'm twitched I know...deal with it.

Phantom of the Opera songs have been my only source of music for weeks now, the book sits beside me, a background graces my desktop. All of my creative ideas swirl around it. Obessed? Maybe a little. But I'm not alone. The Phantom has lured many people and my obsession is quite common. But the question is why? Why do people get so drawn into the Phantom? So I write this trying to figure out my own madness.
What is it about a man in a mask that terrifies yet enthralls us? We all know the story. A disfigured musical genius takes a chorus girl and makes her into a star by teaching her. He becomes obessed about her to the point of madness and murder and in the end he loses the girl.
It is because it's a tale of obsession to begin with? Do we somehow empathize with the Phantom to the point of obessing ourselves? Because it is all about obsession, about a deep down in your gut desire that you yearn and dream of. A desire you will do anything for.
I am known to obess over things quite easily, but this is by far the worst I ever have, it holds me tight in its grip and wont' let go. I can't explain why really, it's a strange sensation.
Perhaps it is because our beloved Phantom never gets his girl. He lets her go with her lover who have their own happy little ending leaving the disfigured Phantom to wollow in his own grief. I think we feel so much for the Phantom and want him to keep his girl we can't accept that he will never have her. Insane and a murderer we still root for him the ultimate anti-hero. In our minds he needs her and should get her and our mind won't let that go till he does, but he never will. So over and over we wait for him to get girl, knowing that he won't. It's a cycle that never ends, and forever the Phantom loses.
So untill the Phantom has his girl I don't think a "phan" can let the story rest. Just as the lyrics to the song go "The Phantom of the Opera is there...inside my mind."

For those who read this and wonder what that is, wound interference is a form of self-mutilation and it appears as though I have it. I never really noticed it till now. I mean yeah I picked at my arms n' stuff, but once I read what it was, it was me to a t. "The practice of wound interference is done by creating a wound, whether it is a cut, burn, bruise, or bump, and preventing it from healing by tearing, picking or pushing on the wound." Yeah it sounds sick, but I do it nearly on a daily basis without even realizing it. I only realized it when a wound on my arm bugged me, it's still sore right now. I won't go into detail but it isn't the best looking. It even described me to a t as well. Above average student who dresses nice, both parents working. I'm involved in pep band and am a good kid as the label would go. To anyone who reads this or cares I know what I am and I'm ashamed of it, and scared of it. I'm not going to kill myself of anything like that, it's just something not everyone has and I think should be made aware of.

Can't believe i made it to 500 in such a short time thanks everyone for all of your comments and putting up with my strange art! ^_^ hopefully 1,000 will be around the bend!